If I Were You.....

If I were you I would...... If it were my child I would..... If it were up to me I would..... How many times have you heard that from someone? How many times have you said that?

I cannot count how many times in the last six months I have heard the above. Some of the time from well meaning people but other times it is just from people who think their way is the only way.

I have to admit it is easy to think our way is the best way but honestly it is not always the best way for everyone. Gods plan for each of us is so different that it is useless to try to put everyone in the same mold and say "this is the only way, this is the right way".

As I have gotten older I have found that there are too many things that we as Christians try to make right and wrong that the Bible does not specify. The most recent thing that has caused some hurt and confusion is my daughters desire to go to college. Sydney has always enjoyed school and been a great student so she had our full support. In fact from the time she was little we encouraged her to go. Then about a year or so ago Sydney had read some blogs, books and after speaking to some friends was not sure it was right to go to college aside from correspondence courses. I told her I did not see anything wrong with it nor did her dad and I hoped that she would really pray about it and seek Gods will not others. When things like this happen I try to remind our kids that God will lead them but he will also lead us as their parents and if he shows them something that in the past we have be opposed to he will change our heart too if it is His will for them. God is not a God of confusion and I do not believe he will leave a family in confusion and chaos.

Sydney continued to pray and wait on God and he eventually made everything very clear even which college to attend. Not being one to wait she immediately started making plans and almost as quickly people started coming to me with worry and opinions. Not because they had any great insight based on knowing Sydney, in fact many of them knew little bout her. They simple looked at their life or someone they knew and immediately decided it was wrong.

I have had mothers ask me why she doesn't want to marry or have kids? What does going to college now at 18 have to do with marriage and having kids? Sydney does desire to marry and have kids someday and when the time is right, Gods time, she will. Other mothers tell me horror stories about girls they knew who went to college and were ruined. Well, I know women who went to Bible college and are wonderful missionaries, wives, mothers and a few that are all the above. I have people tell me about all the dangerous things that might happen, guess what they can happen here too and the best/lamest one people ask me , do you know how expensive that is going to be? Hmmm, yes her dad and I do and we serve a mighty king who can supply for it!

When these "well meaning" people get going I try to bring them back to Jesus, He loves Sydney, and as long as she is in His will He will watch out for her and He will supply her needs. Her father and I will continue to love and pray for her just like she was living here in the house.

I could allow these peoples fears to overwhelm me, I could try to discourage Syd, I could even forbid it but what good would any of that do? The safest place for her is in Gods will and we know that for now that means going to college. Am I jumping up and down that she has chosen a college out of state? No! Am I going to miss her? Of course, she is my daughter and a friend but I truly want her to be happy and the whole point of being a parent in my opinion is to raise your child to seek Gods will and fulfil it. God is setting people up right now in MO for Sydney to witness to that only she will get to witness to, that only her journey in life will get through to them.

I guess the whole point of this post, beyond venting, is to say; stop and think before you give advice. God does not want or need cookie cutter Christians and His will for your child is not going to be the same as His will for my child.