When A Mother's Heart Aches Part Two

This is part two so if you have not read the first part you may want to do so here.

In the first part I shared with you some of the heart aches I have shared with my children, in this post I hope to give you some ideas on how to deal with some of these issues. I know I am not the only mother out there with kids who have been hurt.

1. The most important one is praying. I can not stress this enough. Without the strength of Jesus Christ I could not survive the heart ache this world gives out!

2. Next encourage your children to pray. God hears their prayers just as much as he hears yours.

3. Allow them live and learn from life. I have sheltered my children from many things but I have not tried to solve all their problems for them. I believe some problems we bring on ourselves, some are from God to grow us and some just happen because of this sin cursed world. No matter the cause we can learn something from them and so can our kids if we let them.

4. Be your child's cheerleader. I can always get Ray to smile after a bad night by simple reminding him I love him and I think he is special! For Vince a glass of cocoa makes the day melt away. Syd, just a few minutes of sitting on her bed with her and chit chatting and she forgets how awful those customers treated her. Did I actually solve anything, no not really but they knew I cared and somehow knowing mom is on their side and cheering for them can erase much of the days negativity.

5. Encourage your children to pray for the people causing the problem, this is not easy but it is Biblical and it works. It is pretty hard to resent someone you are sincerely praying for. Trust me, been there, done that!

6. Surround them with good Godly examples, starting with making sure you are one.

7. Know your child's heart. It is very easy to pick up on their feelings when you know their heart. Each of my children reacts differently to hurt and I can often, not always, but often can spot it before they tell me. A great book on this subject is Romancing Your Child's Heart.

8. Do not allow them to run from problems unless there is a real danger. I have always tried to ask my kids to give a situation at least 30 days of trying it out and praying before quiting an activity.

9. Remind them that not everyone is saved and even those who are, may not have a strong walk with Christ. This is where they can let their light shine.

10. Remind them everyone has bad days and maybe that person was just having one and they happened to be available.

11. When able point out how others may feel about their actions. When I catch one of my kids teasing the other I remind them of how they feel when teased. Even teasing in jest amongst siblings can lead to hurt feelings.

12. Be ready to listen and slow to answer. Sometimes they just want to vent; however do not allow them to depreciate the others involved or allow it to become gossip. Gossip is damaging.

13. Always have open arms; sometimes even for teens a hug can fix a lot!

14. Encourage them to read books on problem solving and dealing with teen issues. A great book to start with is Do Hard Things. Ray was quick to say it helped when thinking about how other kids act and the importance of him doing what is right.

15. Be creative when solving problems. I will not give any examples here to avoid embarrassment but I am sure you can come up with creative solutions. Remember there is always more than one way to solve a problem.

16. Do not underestimate or down grade their problems. What is going on in their life if just as difficult to them as our problems are to us.

17. Love you child for who they are while encouraging them to be all that God wants them to be.


I would love to hear how your family deals with teasing and such. How do help your child deal with the heart aches the world throws out, how do you deal with it?